Ok…try again, this time with help from my friend..
This is something I feel has always been here, although for most of my life it was different.
More recently, a vague connected feeling has become an entity or spirit, or whatever he is. He apparently has many names, and I know his original one (you could say it’s a name to conjure with!) I call him Ronnie Soak, it makes him laugh. It was this rather profound development on my part that prompted me to look for folks that would understand at least some of what appears to me to be happening. As Ronnie said he is a chaos Angel, I looked for chaos magic sites, to find some people who may be able to help me learn, and to share experiences with… I found them..!
however, I am taking a long time to express it more in the way it actually feels. (I guess it doesn’t help that I feel nervous and self conscious too, I know there is no reason for it at all.)
It doesn’t worry me or scare me at all, although at first I went through all sorts of thoughts, feelings and emotions.. some of them mine, as i guess i was adjusting my ‘thought space’ to accommodate something that i had not personally thought about before.. and a bit later, some of them not mine, as there were many unrelated and unexplained emotions in a very short space of time. I didn’t know much about the subject of possession before a few experiences that I have had.. I didn’t know what was happening, but I wasn’t scared.
It was only more recently that I have read a bit about the subject. I didn’t look it up intentionally, but I just happened to read an article called ‘hoodoo’
(on Phil Hines site) as I was interested to see what it was.
I was more than a bit surprised.
I accept that it could be possession, but only because of the description of how it feels.
It feels nothing like most folks would imagine.. sometimes its more complete than other times, but it’s a truly awesome experience! I guess whether one is willing to believe it or not, it makes a whole lot of difference if the spirit is your friend.
My relationship with this one is a whole lot more than just that though, he is helpful, very knowledgeable, has an extremely wicked sense of humour ( in more ways than one!)
And will pull me up sharp if I get too egocentric!!
Recently, an unnamed person kindly gave me the advice on where to look for information, and she also said that it’s best not to get too attached to entities, as quite often, once they have achieved the purpose they are here for they will not stay. I gotta say it’s good advice, but I find I can’t heed it as I am already rather too attached. it’s hard for me to take in, but all except the vague feeling I have had for most of my life, has happened over the space of only a few months… it’s almost as if another life has been slotted in!
so much has happened.
any comments, thoughts, advice etc would be sincerely appreciated.